You've heard people say it again and again: life is not some big popularity contest. It's meant to mean well. To cheer us up when something just doesn't add up the way we want it. It's meant to raise our self esteem. To make us feel better about something. To make is feel we are all equal. But when you really break it all down, isn't this all a lie?
Life really is one big popularity contest. It is who you know. It's how people perceive you. And yes ladies, it is about how you look. And I'm not being a negative Nancy. It's not always a bad thing. Popularity is subjective, and it's not permanent. I might be popular at church, but not as much at work. Popular means 2 different things in this context. Popular at church means people know who I am. I am reliable, passionate about 'my' kids, trustworthy. There's a reason I've been asked to be on council twice in 6 years. Popularity equals dedication. It's a mixed blessing.
At work, I am popular when there is a problem. In all seriousness, if I was up for a position against say Diana, no contest she would get it. She's outgoing. She's a customer people person. She understands corporate wine and dine. I work in the trenches. I deal with boring things like buying things and keeping inventory correct. Important yes. But certainly not glamorous. I'm practical. The joke is if you hear from me, something is wrong. I work behind the scenes to make the boss look good. And in this context, I'm ok with not being popular. The only edge I would have is with a regulatory position. I can do mundane details and government bureaucracy. Most people would rip their hair out. I say bring it on.
And it's deeper than just this. Being 30 and single, I'm not the first person to be noticed when I go out. I'm short, slightly overweight, and (gulp) starting to go grey. I'm not 20, blond, and skinny. And yes men are attracted to different types, but stereotypes exist because there is some truth behind them. Might not be fair, but it is real. I am not outgoing. I'm not going to try and get attention with my actions, looks, and attitude. I'm not 'popular'. Never have been and never will be. But I can offer more once popular gets old. Loyalty. I'm not looking for the next 'high'. I'm not interested in the 'right' party, bar opening, or celebrity. I'm will still be the same person tomorrow. I'm not constantly looking for more. Social popularity relies on fads. Loyalty doesn't. I'd rather be loyal than popular.
So why this sudden tangent? I threw a party the other day. I planned it and invited people 4 weeks in advance. Theme: tacky Christmas...in June. I invited 40 people. Most people declined. Why? I'm just not that popular. People like me. Let's make that clear. A lot of people like me. I get invited to other peoples parties. But I'm now known for being a fun outgoing person (ok I think that's pretty well established now). Obviously my party wasn't going to be wild and crazy, fun yes, but in a 'social gathering' kind of way. I'm really seen as a dinner party in a formal dining room with table cloths, napkins, and candle sticks kind of person. Which is probably pretty true. My parties will never be crazy, but the food will be awesome. I leave crazy to the friends with the pool. And they are very popular. Their parties are well attended. Why? They are fun and crazy. I had a small showing with lots of laughter and great food (I made a pretty awesome cranberry pineapple salsa). And it was fun. But it made me realize that being popular does count for something. There are immediate benefits to being outgoing, good looking, and passionate. But popularity is fleeting. It gets bored easily. It's never ready to settle. And once it's gone, what remains is loyalty, dependability, and good food. I'll keep my small group of friends, laughter, and new recipes. It might be fun to be more popular...for a while. there are doors that would be open that are not now. My life might be very different. But what would I have lost? I'm not sure if I'd be satisfied. So maybe 'plain Jane' has its advantages.
Life really is one big popularity contest. It is who you know. It's how people perceive you. And yes ladies, it is about how you look. And I'm not being a negative Nancy. It's not always a bad thing. Popularity is subjective, and it's not permanent. I might be popular at church, but not as much at work. Popular means 2 different things in this context. Popular at church means people know who I am. I am reliable, passionate about 'my' kids, trustworthy. There's a reason I've been asked to be on council twice in 6 years. Popularity equals dedication. It's a mixed blessing.
At work, I am popular when there is a problem. In all seriousness, if I was up for a position against say Diana, no contest she would get it. She's outgoing. She's a customer people person. She understands corporate wine and dine. I work in the trenches. I deal with boring things like buying things and keeping inventory correct. Important yes. But certainly not glamorous. I'm practical. The joke is if you hear from me, something is wrong. I work behind the scenes to make the boss look good. And in this context, I'm ok with not being popular. The only edge I would have is with a regulatory position. I can do mundane details and government bureaucracy. Most people would rip their hair out. I say bring it on.
And it's deeper than just this. Being 30 and single, I'm not the first person to be noticed when I go out. I'm short, slightly overweight, and (gulp) starting to go grey. I'm not 20, blond, and skinny. And yes men are attracted to different types, but stereotypes exist because there is some truth behind them. Might not be fair, but it is real. I am not outgoing. I'm not going to try and get attention with my actions, looks, and attitude. I'm not 'popular'. Never have been and never will be. But I can offer more once popular gets old. Loyalty. I'm not looking for the next 'high'. I'm not interested in the 'right' party, bar opening, or celebrity. I'm will still be the same person tomorrow. I'm not constantly looking for more. Social popularity relies on fads. Loyalty doesn't. I'd rather be loyal than popular.
So why this sudden tangent? I threw a party the other day. I planned it and invited people 4 weeks in advance. Theme: tacky Christmas...in June. I invited 40 people. Most people declined. Why? I'm just not that popular. People like me. Let's make that clear. A lot of people like me. I get invited to other peoples parties. But I'm now known for being a fun outgoing person (ok I think that's pretty well established now). Obviously my party wasn't going to be wild and crazy, fun yes, but in a 'social gathering' kind of way. I'm really seen as a dinner party in a formal dining room with table cloths, napkins, and candle sticks kind of person. Which is probably pretty true. My parties will never be crazy, but the food will be awesome. I leave crazy to the friends with the pool. And they are very popular. Their parties are well attended. Why? They are fun and crazy. I had a small showing with lots of laughter and great food (I made a pretty awesome cranberry pineapple salsa). And it was fun. But it made me realize that being popular does count for something. There are immediate benefits to being outgoing, good looking, and passionate. But popularity is fleeting. It gets bored easily. It's never ready to settle. And once it's gone, what remains is loyalty, dependability, and good food. I'll keep my small group of friends, laughter, and new recipes. It might be fun to be more popular...for a while. there are doors that would be open that are not now. My life might be very different. But what would I have lost? I'm not sure if I'd be satisfied. So maybe 'plain Jane' has its advantages.
posted from Bloggeroid
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