work force

The tension is painful. We are all fairly intelligent individuals. We can see the black hole that is our schedule. No money coming in, too much going out. Panic set in days ago. It’s slowly being replaced by rage. Why won’t they say anything? Give us some clue to guide our reaction. But the truth is even more painful: not even management knows what to do. And no one will talk about it. It’s become the bull in the middle of the office. People think of cute and big when they think of elephants; this is not an elephant. It’s a wild, ugly, and angry bull ready for the charge. Big. Unmoving. Dangerous. Laying piles of dung on the floor. In other words, it stinks.
A few months ago when people would ask how our company was holding up in the economic crap shoot, I would say ‘not too badly actually’. Being a small, custom manufacturing plant seemed to be working in our favor. If you want what everyone else said can’t be done (specific heights, combination of units, this not that), you come to us. We don’t stock units and then ship one that meets the requirements. No. We can customize almost anything in way of HVAC, and we will build it to your specifications. That’s our niche in the market. We offer ‘normal’ market units as well. But where we excel is that everything can be tailored to meet specific needs. Which to be honest can be annoying. We always have to be on our toes making sure that everyone is on the same page. Mistakes can happen more frequently and to a greater cost if people don’t pay attention. But we are able to capture part of the market not satisfied with what our competitors (which include some of our own sister companies) have to offer. Business hasn’t been stellar. I don’t mean to imply that we were swimming in it and spending frivolously. But we were making our ends meet as a company. Then the first round of lay offs. Almost 25% of our workforce lost their jobs at the beginning of this year. It was a stark reminder that no one is immune to the mess created by a system without checks and balances. We were weathering the storm though. Until 2 weeks ago. The work dried up. There is nothing coming in. By the end of this month, we will have shipped everything we have in house. There is nothing to build behind it. Everyone knows it. We are all sitting around staring at each other, trying to look busy by shifting paper around our desks. We all know the truth. There is nothing to do. But in our fear, we look busy because if they are going to cut people, then maybe we will be spared because we appeared to be working diligently.
Lives are being put on hold. Like everywhere else, we are reevaluating everything. Groceries are bought sparingly. Only the essentials make it into the carts these days. I think several times before I purchase anything that I don’t need to survive. The first movie we have gone to see in the theatres in weeks was on a weekday night. Half price from the weekends. The library is a free source of books. I have banned myself from buying any new ones, even at half priced stores. We desperately want to buy a house. To start a life that is our own in a place that is our own. I make the lion’s share of the income. If I lose my job, can we afford it? We have added townhomes to our list. I don’t know that he will be happy in a townhome, but we can afford it with unemployment if we have to. Will he be happy sacrificing what he wants for what we will have to take to be on the safe side? We can rent. An option that he will not be happy with. We both feel the strain of living with an addicted person. It’s hard to live under someone else’s roof when that person’s state of mind isn’t always clear. How many times have I come home to the doors unlocked, garage opened, stove left on? Too many. I want to feel secure in where I live, to feel like I have some say, to feel like an adult. Options are being replaced by uncertainty. It isn’t fair.
Then there are all the other expenses. I developed keratitis in my left eye. Painful and expensive. I have seen the eye doctor a total of 3 times in a week plus the medication: $220. I am lucky that I take eye health seriously and went in right way when my eye became irritated. If it had gone untreated, it would have cost substantially more as it would have taken longer to treat. Not to mention it could have caused more serious problem that can result in vision loss. My car is sick. I have spent almost $1000 this year so far to keep it running right. Far less expensive than buying a new one, an option I really don’t want to have to explore. If I lose my job, I have to keep my insurance going. My medications are outrageous on their own. And I can’t just stop taking my cholesterol meds. Grocery prices are rising again, so is gas. How can they jack the prices up when no one has the ability to pay them anymore? What is really painful is that I know that I am not alone. Everyone is experiencing the pain. My sister lost her job. She’s a registered dental assistant. She can’t find a job to save her life. My mom works for an advertising business as a graphics designer. There is very little work coming in. She too is walking on eggshells waiting to hear if they are closing their doors. I have a friend who is a lawyer…a freaking bar approved lawyer…and he can’t find a job. I have it better than a lot of people. I still have a job to lose. I can still collect unemployment for 6 months and pray that the economy turns around. I am not ungrateful. It still hard knows that my fate lies outside of my control. They might have to lay people off. They might shut us down for a week or two. They may reduce our hours. All things I can deal with…if they would just say something…